


Fried (Bananas) & Prejudice

by Maribor_Petrichor



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-04 02:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15831657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maribor_Petrichor/pseuds/Maribor_Petrichor
Summary: Jack has the wrong idea about why the Doctor is so adamant about keeping him away from Rose. After Jack's disastrous date, Nine explains his reasoning and it's not what Jack thought at all.A little bit of human prejudice. A smattering of flirting. And a lot of potassium round out this remix of AstroGirl's wonderful "Fruitless Pursuit".I hope she likes it! :)





	Fried (Bananas) & Prejudice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AstroGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroGirl/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Fruitless Pursuit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24790) by [AstroGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroGirl/pseuds/AstroGirl). 



Jack ran after the Doctor.

He found himself doing that more and more each day. Running, speeding behind him to catch up. And even when he wasn't doing it physically it was an exercise in mental sprints which left him nearly as exhausted.

He finally caught up to him in the console room, the hub of the TARDIS. The pulsing of the engines was a familiar sound to him, a welcome sound. He liked being here. And it seemed the ship, which he'd been told was sentient, didn't mind him either.

"I know what this is about."

"Good for you!" The Doctor said cheerfully.

"You're a prude. You've got some sort of revulsion when it comes to sex. Thinking about it. Doing it. Even facilitating it. That's why you let me walk out of here dressed like that. Because it ensured nothing would happen."

"Is that why I did it?" The Doctor asked as he pulled a very important looking lever on the...navigation? That's at least where he always went when he wanted to navigate.

"Yeah, I think so. It's also why you get so jittery when I'm alone with Rose."

"So, you believe I'm the one who stopped something from happening back there? Or any other time?"

At that question, Jack hesitated. He hadn't thought he would...but he did. Truth be told it wasn't the Doctor this time. It wasn't exactly the Doctor last time or the time before that. He'd had opportunities to be alone with Rose and he wasn't exactly shy about what was on offer. But she hadn't been very keen. Back when she thought he was a regular RAF soldier she'd seemed interested enough. But once he'd revealed his true identity, once he'd talked a little more about what was for her, the future, she'd cooled. In fact, she always pulled away. And because he wasn't a scoundrel he didn't push it.

"And the penny drops." The Doctor said as he seemed to literally disappear into a heretofore unknown to Jack panel in the wall of the TARDIS console room. "You see, this..."

Whatever the Doctor said next was too muffled for Jack to make out.

"Come again?"

The Doctor poked his head out briefly.

"This is why it never works, I said."

"Why what never works?"

"What you're trying to get up to."

"I'm not trying to get up to anything. I was simply having a conversation with my friend."

"Mmmhmm." The Doctor replied coming out with a handful of cords and wires only a few of which were sparking. "You know that movie, Jurassic Park? Brilliant film. Dinosaurs in it are completely wrong though, mind you, not nearly enough feathers. But that's neither here nor there. There that line where the shirtless fellow says 'but dinosaurs and man... ...two species separated by 65 million years of evolution... ...have just been suddenly thrown back into the mix together. How can we possibly have the slightest idea what to expect?"

"Yeah, I recall. Though not verbatim like you just did."

"Well, it's like that." The Doctor gesturing like everything now made sense.

"I feel as though you think you've said something clearly but you haven't."

But the Doctor didn't appear to be listening. He was on his knees crawling about and without warning, he opened another hatch, this one on the floor. He vanished halfway inside and Jack didn't exactly like the clanking noises he was hearing.

"Is something wrong?" He asked warily.

"There will be if I can't find it." Came the echo-y reply.

"Ok, is there something I can help with?" Jack asked ready to jump into action. "I'm not the best pilot or mechanic but I'm not bad. Put me somewhere and set me to work. I can assist."

"What are you talking about?" The Doctor said reappearing. "I was looking for the skillet and I found it." He made a motion with the heavy looking cast iron cooking implement in his hand. "You're quite nervous aren't you, Jack?"

Letting his shoulders and overall posture relax Jack narrowed his eyes at the Doctor.

"You enjoy making me nervous."

"Look at it this way, Jack." The Doctor began completely ignoring his previous statement. "3000 years ago humans were only about 200 years out of the Bronze Age. Rome had yet to be founded. Some cultures only had a few centuries of handwriting under their belts, some a few decades."

Jack was listening but he was also watching as a low flame appeared from the TARDIS console above which the Doctor placed the skillet after having added a oil, what looked to be honey and a few other ingredients he couldn't quite make out. Where exactly they'd come from, Jack had no idea. It was as though they just appeared. Whatever they were the sweet warm scent started to fill the room.

"We're talking about cultural, societal evolution?" Jack queried.

"Exactly. Now, you, you're from the 51st century. 30 centuries ahead of her and another 3000 years. Humans have spread out across the galaxy. You've seen things, done things, time travel is old hat. You weren't even born on Earth you were born on a colony. You're actually less human than she is. Your internal organs are slightly different, the bacteria in and on your body is different. Your baby toe is even a fraction of a fraction smaller and far more useless than hers and hers is already quite useless. And your wisdom teeth-"

"What are wisdom teeth?" Jack asked with a frown.

"Open your mouth." The Doctor said coming close and peering inside as Jack did just that. "Just as I thought. Gone."

Satisfied that what he'd said made sense the Doctor returned to his station and what had been occupying him during his speech; chopping the banana into thin slices.

"Ok, so we're sort of different. What's your point?" He asked with irritation.

"My point is that while she's a lovely girl, she's still just a sentient primate."

"Hey!" Jack said. "Enough of that!"

"I meant no offense. When I mean to offend I call you all stupid apes. And that's my point, it's only a designation. You're a sentient primate too, just a bit more advanced."

"Alright, then what does that make you? Some sort of super primate?"

The Doctor looked at him with a haughty expression, clearly offended at the comparison.

"I share a smattering of physiological traits with simians but my people did _not_ evolve from apes, I'll have you know."

"Well, you look like a man to me," Jack replied with a smile. "And I can work with just about anything. Not that any of that really matters when the lights are out."

"You're flirting now but you'd be singing a different tune when our offspring had orange skin and gills."

Jack studied him carefully before answering in a serious tone. "No. I wouldn't."

As if he had been expecting just that reply the Doctor turned on him swiftly and pointed at him with a wooden spoon.

"No. You wouldn't. But _she_ would. Which is exactly my point. You were disappointed with her tonight. You came to her with a funny story and you feel like she missed the point."

"No, I-"

The Doctor dropped the banana slices in the pan and they started to sizzle softly.

"You're trying to rewrite it now but you were. You are. You didn't like the way she responded to the idea of you dressing like the inhabitants of the planet. You wanted her to have a natural understanding and respect for blending in with a culture. She didn't. You wanted her to understand that it didn't so much matter whether you were dancing with a male or a female. She didn't. You wanted her to grasp the idea that such binary ideas are antiquated and broken. She didn't. You wanted her to respond the way you did or better yet not at all to the idea of being attracted to a being covered in silky fur. She didn't. She thought your entire experience was weird and off-putting and funny." The Doctor sighed before continuing.

"Jack, I'm not slagging her off. I like Rose. I do. She wouldn't be here if I didn't. And everyone is entitled to grow in their own time and at their own pace so long as their lack of growth doesn't hurt anyone along the way. Her prejudice, and that is what it is, is just born out of ignorance. Ignorance can be cured. But it takes time, a long time. And trust me, sooner or later, along the way, it would hurt you."

"Do you speak from experience?" Jack asked raising an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't happen to have any cognac would you?"

"Why do I always answer your questions but you never answer any of mine?"

"Well, that's your choice now isn't it?"

Jack sighed, he wanted to lean back against something, to look casual. But the TARDIS wasn't exactly a leaning kind of place.

"Doctor, it's not like I'm looking for forever here." Jack replied feeling both exposed and wounded.

The Doctor looked at him sadly before turning off the heat and removing the skillet.

"You're always looking for forever, Jack. You always have been. Ever since you were a little boy."

The Doctor pulled two plates out of nowhere and began diving the food equally upon them. He handed one to Jack along with a fork and took one for himself. The amount of bananas present looked as though it couldn't possibly have come from just a single piece of fruit.

It was hardly the strangest thing that had happened today.

"Pan-fried honey bananas. You've never had the like in all of your life." The Doctor said with pride.

Jack jabbed at a medallion of the caramelized fruit with his fork and shoved it in his mouth.

It was heavenly.

"My God, Doctor, this is-"

"It's better with brandy. Next time."

They seated themselves on the floor of the ship, eating silently.

"So, do you do this often?"

"Cook?"

"Pick up galactic hitchhikers." When the Doctor didn't answer Jack prodded him with a smile. "Come on, then. I won't be offended if I find out I'm not your first."

The Doctor snorted.

"It's an old habit. One I thought I'd left behind ages ago. And then..."

"And then you met Rose."

"And then I met Rose."

"So, these hitchhikers, what planet would you say most of them are from?"

"Its varied over the years."

"Has it?"

"Yes, it has."

"Well, give me an estimate. What's the percentage that comes from Earth. 20%? 30%? 50%?." When he received no response Jack figured he was on to something. "Well, if they're so primitive, why stick around?"

"Because in spite of it all I like them...quite a bit actually."

"You never answered my question from before. Are you speaking from experience?" Jack swallowed before going on. "Did one of us break your heart?"

The Doctor scoffed. "My heart." he repeated derisively. "I'm not quite the prude you imagine me to be. But yes, I'm trying to keep you away for both your sakes. Though honestly, I believe she'd recover faster than you would. You thought I was trying to protect Rose. I'm trying to protect you, sonny Jim."

"I'm not quite the delicate daisy you seem to think I am."

"Mmmhmm." The Doctor hummed. "Eat your banana."

"Alright, fine...fine, maybe you're right. I'll back off. If she's interested, I'll be here."

"Your word on it?" The Doctor asked him.

"My word." Jack said extending his hand which after a moment the Doctor shook.

That situation now as resolved as it seemed it would be Jack felt more relaxed. The food was good as was the company and he decided now might not be such a bad time to get a little more familiar with the doctor.

"If I'm looking for forever, Doctor. And Rose is looking for adventure. What are you looking for? I mean, we're all here on this ship together. Why are you off to see the Wizard?" He then broke into a smile. "Or are _you_ the Wizard."

The Doctor ate his last bit of banana, chewing thoughtfully and for a moment Jack assumed he wouldn't answer. "As I remember, the Wizard wasn't a wizard at all. Just an ordinary conman who worked at a circus. One day a storm came up while he was in his hot air balloon and it blew him to Oz. The people thought he was amazing, a wise man and a leader, someone who could solve all their problems. But he was really just a blustery little liar, he couldn't solve anything, he couldn't fix anybody and all he really wanted was to get back into his airship and go home."

The Doctor then got to his feet, plate in hand. He walked silently over to the TARDIS console to retrieve the skillet and the various items and ingredients he'd used to concoct their snack.

Jack watched him, his plate in his lap, aware of the heavy silence in the room but unable to make it go away.

"Did you know that bananas are radioactive?" The Doctor asked, a rag having appeared from nowhere in his hand as he used it to make certain his precious console was as clean and perfect as when he arrived.

"I-" Jack tried to speak.

"It's true. You'd have to eat bushels and bushels of them for it to matter but it's scientific fact. Keep it in mind for your next pub trivia game."

"Doctor, I-" He attempted to interrupt again.

"Don't forget to take your plate and fork to the kitchen and do your own washing up. The TARDIS can't abide by a mess."

Jack got to his feet as the Doctor made to leave, long strides having nearly carried him out of the room.

"Does the Wizard ever make it home?" He asked in a rush. "I don't remember the way the movies ends and I never read the book. Does he get home?"

The Doctor turned with a broad smile that didn't meet his eyes.

"No. He doesn't." He replied and then swiftly left the room leaving Jack alone.


End file.
